This is an article that I wrote for a recovery magazine a few years ago, it went into jails and recovery centers all across the state of Kentucky, Indiana, and Tennessee. there is power in testimony, it is prophetic meaning if Jesus did it for me He can and will do it for you all you have to do is surrender and ask.
What are we fighting for?
Written by: Robert Morrow
What does it mean to fight? I am reminded of my fight, I was 13 years old, in that awkward stage of life that I was no longer a kid but not quite a man either. Shoot I didn’t even know what being a man looked like now looking back. I grew up in a seemingly great environment, I still had both of my biological parents married and, in my life, I had family, I had church, I seemingly had everything right? So why did I feel so broken and alone? Why was it a struggle for me to want to be popular but never have any friends? I began to find “friends” we would meet up and hang out and smoke weed and be grown ups (or so we thought) I didn’t realize the turn I was taking, I began to do pills, then came cocaine and oh how I loved cocaine it supplied me with numbness, money and power, again so I thought. All the while on the inside I was conflicted, tormented, and just a mess.
I knew only how to imitate what I was seeing in my life on the streets, that glamor that Rap and Hollywood brought to the lifestyle. The hunger for friends at first and then that was left way behind and replaced with the pursuit of Money, power and Control. Looking back, I was a fool to believe I had power, and control when I couldn’t even control myself. I was becoming emotionless, dead and evil. The friends I initially longed for I was now robbing, cheating, backstabbing, and even thinking I had control and power to choose if they lived or not. I was truly at rock bottom with hundreds of thousands of dollars, but nothing fulfilled that battle and struggle within me.
My friend, I hope to briefly explain the battle of the natural/spiritual cause that leads us to even begin to band aide the pain with Drugs and Alcohol, because if we don’t understand what the root of the issue is we can’t uproot it and move on we just trim it back and it continues to grow. I understand the battle of addiction, I too am a recovering addict I was an addict for 10 years, As I explained above, I know what it feels like to feel trapped and caught in a never-ending cycle. I know what it feels like to be a walking shell of a human, to feel alone, miserable and dead, and knowing that physical death is just around the corner if I continue. I too understand the feeling of never getting things “right” and disappointing the ones I love the most! I understand the statement you keep doing what you’re doing and you keep getting what you’re getting.
I have been in recovery and clean for 15 years now through the Grace of God, working the 12 steps, and uprooting the issues that plagued me. I have started a family and a career. I now am an owner of my own business, support the ministry and church full time, and a husband, father, and everything I have I now own. I have also mended the relationships that I destroyed in my madness. How do I find this peace and balance? Well just like with a car tire you must work at the balance of it otherwise it will give you problems. You also must work at the balance of life, the Good News is God will Supply the Peace, Love and Joy if we mend that relationship with Him. Then it’s up to us to work with Him on the balance. Sounds like a good deal to me! I give my life to Christ and accept what Jesus did on the Cross for me! Also, to repair that relationship between Him in the process. I get Love, Joy, Peace, and Help with balance, Help in the battle and war with the enemy!
Life in general seems like a fight, a battle, and to some an all-out war! For addicts that seems even more of a prevalent feeling! Not only do you have to keep up with life’s demands or at least try to and feel those pressures you also have this hunger inside you for a substance that you began using just to mask the pain hurt and frustration from the main battle we call Life. Why? But Why, do we have this seemingly preprogramed notion that there is a battle going on? I hope to be able to dive in and help with that question today.
First, we have to start back at the book of Genesis with God’s creation Man (Adam and Eve) When we were originally created it was for peaceful living and communion in the presence of God and a paradise called Eden. Pride and a serpent creeped in though and convinced Adam and Eve to trade paradise for a piece of forbidden fruit, it was in that separation that the battle began for mankind because you see it left a God sized hole in our being and birthed an opposing spirit within us and the battle was on.
Second, we see in Ephesians 6:12 that Paul wrote “we wrestle not against Flesh but against dark spirits” so the struggle and the battle is within ourselves we strive for good but cannot seem to achieve, but the Good news is, Jesus Came to this earth to rectify the union between God and His creation (you and I). We just must seek Him and allow Him to guide our lives and the Bible says that when we seek Him first all these things shall be added unto us. What are all these things? Peace, Love, and Joy etc..! Plus, we get equipped with armor of God to fight against the evil one (Satan) to remain back in right standing with God for eternity. John 10:10 says the enemy is seeking to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus came to give life and life more abundantly:
I will leave you with this last thought, when you are in active addiction how much does your family mean? Your kids? Your job? Your house? Those things even though most maybe temporary we still have a connection to those things. When you are in active addiction the enemy is winning because he is stealing your very life away through the addiction and the lifestyle that goes with it, in and out of jails and times away from your family and things mentioned above. So, what are we fighting for? We are fighting against a demon that wants to steal kill and destroy us and sperate us from God the giver of true Peace, Love, and Joy. And, our family and our Life as we know it here on earth!
So, what are you Fighting for? Maybe you, like me was fighting for money, power, popularity, control, things of the world. Or maybe it is that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and know deep inside that something has to change before you are put in a box and six feet under? These are all valid things we as addicts fight against, part of that inner turmoil and battle within. But let’s remember back and think on that God-sized hole that is in us because of sin and separation from our creator the one and only God all mighty! When we see that it is then we can realize that the battle is more spiritual than it is physical and we have to mend that relationship with God our creator to finally experience that peace and Love that we long for!